ASSESSMENT OF COUPLE RELATIONSHIP

Every marriage relationship has a combination of strengths and growth points, and the key is to be able to identify them, and constructively work with them.  We need to celebrate the strengths and develop the growth points.

Please fill in the questionnaire individually without discussion at this point.

Identify which you feel are strengths and which are growth areas, in your relationship. When you have identified these, select three strengths and three growth points, that are most important to you  (be aware that your partner may have different ones)

---

a. Communication
Able to speak about issues and feelings. - Strength / Growth Point

b. Conflict resolution
Able to talk about problems and find solutions. - Strength / Growth Point

c. Financial matters.
Able to agree on budget and financial matters. - Strength / Growth Point

d. Personality and behaviour patterns
Able to accept differences and appreciate them. - Strength / Growth Point

e. Affection and sexuality
Able to be affectionate and able to discuss sexual issues. - Strengths/ Growth Point

f. Leisure activities
Able to have a good balance of activities together and apart. - Strength / Growth Point

g. Family and Friends
We are happy with our interaction with friends and family. - Strength / Growth Point

h. Decision making and responsibility roles
We are able to discuss issues and share responsibilities. - Strength / Growth Point

i. Spiritual beliefs
We are able to respect each other’s beliefs. - Strength / Growth Point 

j. Children and parenting
We agree on issues relating to having and raising children. - Strength / Growth Point

---

1. After both have completed the questionnaire, set a time where both agree is conducive and comfortable to explore each other’s responses. (avoid times that are stressed)

2. Take turns in sharing what each perceived as your relationship strengths. Take turns in sharing one strength at a time until you each have explored three. Delight in these strengths.

3. In the same way share and discuss the growth areas. Avoid blaming, accusing or any negative approach. Try to understand the thoughts and feelings of each other.

4. Finally have a discussion around these questions:

   1. Did any of your partner’s responses surprise you?

   2. Which areas did mostly agree with each other?

   3. Which areas did you struggle to understand or agree with each other?

   4. Which area do both agree needs immediate attention?

   5. Set a date for progress assessment Note: at all times be gentle with each other as it takes courage to express deep feelings.

5. After both have completed the questionnaire, set a time where both agree is conducive and comfortable to explore each other’s responses. (avoid times that are stressed) 

6. Take turns in sharing what each perceived as your relationship strengths. Take turns in sharing one strength at a time until you each have explored three. Delight in these strengths.

7. In the same way share and discuss the growth areas. Avoid blaming, accusing or any negative approach. Try to understand the thoughts and feelings of each other.

8. Finally have a discussion around these questions:

   1. Did any of your partner’s responses surprise you?

   2. Which areas did mostly agree with each other?

   3. Which areas did you struggle to understand or agree with each other?

   4. Which area do both agree needs immediate attention?

   5. Set a date for progress assessment

      Note: at all times be gentle with each other as it takes courage to express deep feelings.