TODAY’S HUMOUR

Mistyped Email Address
A Johannesburg couple decided to spend Christmas in Durban at the hotel where they had honeymooned 20 years before.

The husband flew down a day before his wife. After checking in, he noticed a computer in the room and decided to email her. He didn’t notice that he had mistyped her address.

Meanwhile in Cape Town, an elderly widow had just returned from her husband‘s funeral and was checking her email. He had been a church minister for many years and had died suddenly.

After reading the first message, she fainted. Her son rushed in and found his mother slumped in front of the computer screen which read:

To:          My loving wife.

Subject:   I’ve arrived.

Date:    December 16, 2003.
“I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here and one is allowed to send emails to one’s loved ones. I have just arrived and have been checked in. Everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. I look forward to seeing you. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

 P. S. it sure is hot down here!

LONDON OLYMPICS
It’s 2012 and it’s the Olympics in London.
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Australian want to get in but they haven’t got tickets.

The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate, “McTavish, Scotland,” he says, and in he walks. 

The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder, “Weddington Smith, England” he says “Pole vault” and in he walks.

The Australian looks around and picks up a role of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm, “Jones Australia” he says, “fencing”.

Observant Husband.
“Yesterday, my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed everything and cleaned it down thoroughly.
Today, I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.”

MISUNDERSTANDING
An eight old girl went to the office with her father on “Take Your Kids To Work Day”.

As they were walking around the office, the young girls started crying and getting very cranky. Her father asked what was wrong? As the staff gathered around, she said loudly: “Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said you worked with?”

TAILPIECE
A man tottered onto a bus, slumped down in a seat, hiccupped and smiled blearily at the passenger next to him, who happened to be a clergymen. The man of the cloth took in the fellow’s red nose, sniffed the alcohol fumes and said, “brother, I fear you are on the rough and rocky road to damnation.”

“Oh no”, groaned the drunk, “I’ve caught the wrong bus again.”