TODAYS JOKES
Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
My New Years resolution is to try to remember why I've walked into a room.
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. It's about having a good year!
I have only one resolution: To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have!
God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
New Year Prayer
Dear God, So far this has been great! I haven't gossiped about my friends. I haven't lost my temper. I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, cruel, or rude. I'm very thankful. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help to get through the New Year.
