TODAY’S HUMOUR

• I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
  She gave me a hug.
  

• Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
  They don’t have the guts.
  

• I used to play piano by ear.
  Now I use my hands.
  

• Parallel lines have so much in common.
  It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
  

• Why did the scarecrow win an award?
  Because he was outstanding in his field.
  

• I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia.
  She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
  

• I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places.
  He told me to stop going to those places.
  

• What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
  Barberqueue.
  

• Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player?
  Because to them, love means nothing.
  

• How do trees access their email?
  They log in.