A Few Jokes To Smile About…
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A Few Jokes To Smile About.
Three ‘one liners’.
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.
The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.
Golfer: “You must be the world's worst caddy!”
Caddy: “No, that would be too much of a coincidence.”
I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise.
My boss asked, "What companies?"
I replied, "Gas, water, and electricity."
Aboard an airline flight from Australia to America, Grandma Alice was taking her very first flight.
They had only been aloft a few minutes when the old lady complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping.
The girl smiled and gave the older woman some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experienced the same discomfort. When they landed in LA, Grandma thanked the stewardess. “The chewing gum worked fine,” she said. “Now that we've arrived, would you tell me, how do I get it out of my ears?”
A Few Jokes To Smile About…
A few jokes to smile about.
Today’s Jokes
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” the reporter asked.
She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for Jesus body to put in his family grave.
Pilate was astounded, “You’ve spent a fortune on that grave. Why give it to Jesus.”
Joseph replied, “It’s only for three days.”
h! the English language!
I had a vasectomy because I didn't want any kids. When I got home, they were still there.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
Two Wi-Fi engineers got married. The reception was fantastic.
3 Jokes…
Three jokes for you today…
When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party. Now I'm homeless.
Before crowbars were invented most crows drank at home by themselves.
From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving is hands.
“Who is it?” a passenger asks the captain.
“I have no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad like that.”
The Proposal Gone Wrong
George had a unexpected response to his proposal …..
George had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. "What happened, son?" his father asked, eagerly awaiting his response. "Did she accept?"
"No, she sure didn't," sobbed George. "When I told her what you advised me to say, she slapped my face and told me to get out."
"Did you begin by telling her what I told you to say, what I told your mother when she accepted my proposal? 'Sweetheart, time stands still when I look in your eyes.' Did you tell her that?" asked his father.
"Oh boy, Dad, did I got it all wrong," George groaned. "I said, 'My darling, you have a face that would stop a clock!'"