A REFLECTION AT CHRISTMASTIME

The bible says “be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46vs10) and on the 15th December last year, in my pre-dawn meditation, this is what came to me…

My heart was heavy for a number of reasons; I look at the Christmas festivities, TV programmes etc and, sadly, our Saviour and Lord Jesus Christ, is just about absent in all the media, the TV programmes, and celebrations. “Father Christmas” has become the central figure. Forgive me for saying this, it is like a pagan festival! It is all about spending money and pleasure!

However, I honour all the churches that are a light in an ever-darkening world especially at Christmastime.

But I have this against the churches, with some exceptions, they have lost the true reflection of our Lord Jesus Christ. In spite of the incredible good that has been done, in many aspects it does not reflect the life of our Lord Jesus Christ, God incarnate, sent to be the Saviour of the world.

Do the splendour of the priestly robes, the magnificent lavish buildings, the decorations in gold etc. compare with the image of Jesus in His earthly ministry? I am aware that the motive behind the magnificent cathedrals and churches is to honour God, but how does this relate to the example that Jesus gave us?

Jesus was often in conflict with the “religious” institution of His day, and I wonder what He would say to us today?

I do understand that throughout history magnificent churches were built to be a glorious tribute to the greatness of God, however, these elaborate buildings and garb of the clergy, do not reflect the love and compassion of God, especially as they, the cost of them, could have saved many lives of starving and desperately ill people.

Our Saviour Jesus Christ was not an iconic figurehead, but one who ‘saw’ the pain of the people and His whole life was dedicated, not to fame, position and pompous ceremonies, but to walk the dusty roads bringing healing of body, mind and spirit to all He met. We, and I include myself, and all the various denominations, churches, do not reflect the true image of the love of God as Jesus did.

The rich young ruler asked Jesus what he needed to be saved. Jesus perceived that he was tied to his wealth and told him to sell all he had, give it to the poor, and then to become a follower…the man could not find the strength to do that. But is this not a parable for the churches today? Is it not time to cast off restricting robes and fortified church buildings, to take the shepherd’s staff and truly, personally, engage with a world that is crying out for love and care and through that ministry (not the elaborate church ceremonies) reveal the love of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit?

I am a nobody, but I have walked this earth for 79 years and as I reflect on all that I have heard, seen and witnessed, my heart aches; I have failed to live fully as my Saviour lived, the churches across the globe have in many ways have ‘missed the mark’, in fact some of the welfare institutions have more fully reflected the work of our Lord Jesus Christ. Is it not time for all of us, and our institutions, to walk in the footsteps of Jesus?

LETTING GO..

There are things that are a positive influence or experience in our lives and these are good things to keep and to treasure, and we must ‘celebrate’ them. However, there are other things that are like a dark shadow that haunts us in various degrees, and at various times. For example: grieving a loss, hurt by the words or actions of someone significant, guilt that taunts us, etc.

“That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them, complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is, it no longer fits into your life.

Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust, say “no more” to the accuser! (From Paulo Coelho’s book “The Zahir”)

Stop being who you were and become who you are!”

I read this phrase a long time ago “we hurt, we hate, we heal”

No human being can say that they have never been hurt.. and the range is wide; from small issues to life-damaging events. From a singular incident to months/years of torment.

What we must not, cannot, do is allow whatever happened to tarnish the rest of our existence. We may agree with this statement, but immediately the question is “great, but how do we deal with it?”

May I be so bold as to suggest a few steps-

1. Stop denying your pain, perhaps learn from the Psalmist who asked “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?” and he continues to say “put your hope in God” (Psalm 42 & 43)

2. Many psychological issues stem from unresolved hurt, grief and emotional pain.

3. Have the courage to name the incidents/relationships/events, etc. that have wounded you. Not in a negative destructive way but to enter a dialogue with it; “What happened? Who did it involve? How old was I? How has it affected me? Who did I tell and what was their response?

4. Don’t feel you have to do this on your own, you can find a trusted person, a counsellor/psychologist etc. to walk this journey with you.

5. Don’t minimize the impact of what happened, acknowledge it but with the purpose of dealing with it so that you can be freed from the effect it has had on your life.

6. The painful things in our life can have positive results if we handle them correctly. Somewhere I read this phrase “we hurt, we hate, we heal” Basically, as I understand it, we need to be realistic about the pain it has caused us- physical, emotional and even spiritual (we can, and probably do, question why God has allowed it to happen to us). However, because our Creator has given us the gift of freedom of choice, and we often suffer from our poor choices or the actions of others. The secret is not to allow the hurt/guilt etc. to lie in our memory, or subconscious, to torment us.

It is a journey of letting go in a positive and healthy way.

PHILLIPS BROOKES

The Pastor who gave the world ‘O Little Town of Bethlehem’ Phillips Brooks, one of America’s most respected 19th-century pastors, never set out to become a hymn writer. Born in Boston in 1835, he was known first for his towering height, warm personality, and extraordinary gift of preaching. People often described him as gentle yet powerful — a man whose words could move a crowded church to tears, not through theatrics, but through sincerity.

In 1865, shortly after the American Civil War, Brooks found himself exhausted in spirit. His nation was wounded, and so was he. Seeking rest and renewal, he travelled to the Holy Land. On Christmas Eve, he rode on horseback from Jerusalem to Bethlehem. As night fell, the town lay still under a quiet sky. He entered the Church of the Nativity — the traditional site of Jesus’ birth — and was deeply moved by the simple beauty of the candlelit service. There were no grand choirs, no loud celebrations, just the quiet murmur of worshippers remembering the night Christ came.

That moment stayed with him long after he returned to Boston. Three years later, in 1868, he wanted a special piece for his church’s Christmas service and found his mind returning to that peaceful night in Bethlehem. Sitting down to write, he poured the memories of that holy evening into a poem beginning with the words, “O little town of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lie.”

He handed the poem to his church’s organist, Lewis Redner, who composed a tune that came to him, fittingly, in the quiet of the night. Neither man imagined it would travel far beyond their congregation.

Yet the hymn captured something timeless — the truth that God often enters our world softly, without noise or fanfare. Through Brooks’ simple reflection, generations have been reminded that holiness is often found in the quiet places, waiting to be noticed.

Here is the Christmas Carol.

O little town of Bethlehem,
How still we see thee lie!
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by.
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting Light;
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight.

O morning stars, together
Proclaim the holy birth,
And praises sing to God the King,
And peace to men on earth;
For Christ is born of Mary,
And gathered all above,
While mortals sleep, the angels keep
Their watch of wondering love.

For Christ is born of Mary,
and gathered all above,
While mortals sleep, the angels keep
their watch of wondering love.
O morning stars together,
proclaim the holy birth,
And praises sing to God the King,
and peace to men on earth!

How silently, how silently
The wondrous gift is given!
So God imparts to human hearts
The blessings of His heaven.
No ear may hear His coming;
But in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive Him, still
The dear Christ enters in.

O holy Child of Bethlehem,
Descend to us, we pray;
Cast out our sin, and enter in;
Be born in us today.
We hear the Christmas angels
The great glad tidings tell;
O come to us, abide with us,
Our Lord Immanuel!

THE VALUE OF JOURNAL KEEPING

1. EXPLANATION:

• A journal is not a diary of events; it is rather a record of our deeper inward journey by recording “sacred” encounters, revelations, and insights that we have found and experienced. It is a private record of these precious moments.

2. SOME GUIDELINES:

• Choose a book that will last, something worthy of the treasure it will hold

• Be creative, it is your own private book.

3. SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR THINGS TO RECORD:

• The high moments, and the low moments, of your life.

• The events that have been significant e.g. family gatherings

• Record your questions about life, struggles, guidance etc.

• Memories that surface.

• Questions and answers.

• Issues that need attention.

• Feelings that surface, don’t suppress them, let them be a source of joy and a means of healing.

• Add pictures, drawings etc.

• Record “God-incidences” that have been meaningful to you. “Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart” Luke 2:19

• Record answers that have come to you.

• List the people who are significant to you. And give thanks for them.

IF JESUS NEVER CAME

At Christmas we celebrate the birth of Christ — but have we ever paused to ask, what if Jesus never came? Imagine a world without the hope, compassion and light His coming brought. No churches, no Christian hospitals or schools, no carols, no manger scenes, no spirit of generosity that shapes so much of our world today. More deeply, imagine a world still groping in the dark, unsure of who God is, uncertain about forgiveness, and with no hope beyond the grave.

Without Jesus, We Would Know Little About God

Throughout history, God left many signs of Himself — in nature, in the Scriptures, and in Israel’s story. Yet people still longed for certainty. Isaiah foretold a day when God would reveal Himself through a child called Immanuel — “God with us,” the One who would be Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6–7).

Before Christ, humanity had only glimpses of God; like a scrambled picture on a screen. Without Jesus, that picture would remain blurred.

Without Jesus, Our Sins Would Not Be Forgiven

The Old Testament system could cover sin but could not remove it. Many lived carrying heavy guilt, trying to stay busy to hide their burdens. Isaiah promised a Saviour who would come to save and heal — but without Christ’s arrival, we would still be waiting.

Without Jesus, There Would Be No Assurance of Eternal Life

A world without Christ is a world without hope. People would ask, “What is life about?” and find the answer in Ecclesiastes: “Meaningless!” (Ecclesiastes 1:2). Without the resurrection and the promise of eternity, our labour and our suffering would feel empty.

BUT JESUS HAS COME.

He Revealed God to Us

“No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son…has made Him known” (John 1:18). Jesus is God with us. As He said, “He who has seen Me has seen the Father” (John 14:9). His birth is God stepping into our world so we may know Him personally.

He Took Away Our Sin

John the Baptist declared, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” (John 1:29). Through Christ, guilt is removed, burdens are lifted, and forgiveness becomes a sure promise.

He Opened the Door to Eternity

Because Jesus lives, everything we do has eternal worth. “Your labour in the Lord is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:58). Even the ordinary becomes sacred when done for Him.

A Reason to Celebrate

The world celebrates Christmas in many ways, but Christians celebrate with deeper joy because we know why we celebrate and who the celebration is for. The birth of Jesus is so miraculous, so significant, that thousands of years later the world still pauses to remember.

He has come.

And because He has come, we can know God, receive forgiveness, and live with eternal hope.

TODAYS JOKES

Q: Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? A: He was picking his nose!

Q: What happens if you eat too many Christmas decorations? A: You get tinsel-itis.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? A: Frost-bite!

Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The elf-abet.

Q: Why didn't the wise men stop to water their camels? A: No well.

A boy opened a Christmas present and found batteries with a note: “Toy not included.”

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says, “Do you smell carrots?”

IF I KNEW..

If I knew it would be the last time, that I’d see you fall asleep,

I would tuck you in more tightly, and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

*******

If I knew it would be the last time, that I see you walk out the door,

I would give you a hug and kiss, and call you back for one more.

*******

If I knew it would be the last time, I’d hear your voice lifted in praise,

I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.

*******

For surely there’s always tomorrow to make up for an oversight,

and we always get a second chance to make everything right.

*******

There will always be another day to say our “I love you,

And certainly there’s another chance to say our “Anything I can do?”

*******

But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I’d like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget, tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young and old alike,

And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved ones tight.

*******

So if you’re waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes, you’ll surely regret the day,

That you didn’t take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss

And you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their last wish.

*******

So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear,

That you love them very much and you’ll always hold them dear.

*******

Take time to say, “I’m sorry,” “Please forgive me,” “thank you,” or ‘it’s okay”.

And if tomorrow never comes, you’ll have no regrets about today.

Author unknown

WORKING WELL WITH RELATIONSHIPS

We do not exist in a vacuum; from the day that we are born we are in relationships... our mother, father, siblings, spouses, friends, co-workers etc…  The reality is that our relationships can be a blessing or a challenge, or a bit of both!

If we are realistic, we will realise that we are all human with the flaws that go with that. However, the good news is that we are not helpless pawns in a game but have the freedom of choice.

The first relationship to analyse is the relationship we have with ourselves.

It can be positive or negative or vacillate between the two. The prophet Isaiah wrote this “Woe to me! ..for I am a man of unclean lips….” (Isaiah 6:5). Take some time to consider the  following personal assessment…..

1. What do I feel about myself?   

2. What personality do I have? Introvert/extrovert, intuitive/sensing, thinking/feeling, judging/perceiving?   Have I accepted/embraced my unique personality?

3. Am I struggling with expectations from others?  Whose expectations?

4. Am I struggling with my own expectations? What is driving me?

5. Am I struggling with my perception of what God’s expectation of me is?

6. Do I feel that my life is significant? Apart from the financial necessity, our work gives us a sense of having a meaningful place in this world, however it is not the only place where we find significance…

7. What actually drains the life out of me?

The second is to analyse is our relationships with others.

1. Am I an Introvert? (a shy inwardly thoughtful person) or an Extrovert? (an outgoing or sociable person)

2. Am I struggling with expectations from others? Who? Name them for yourself. Whose voice is dictating in your head?

3. How healthy are my relationships?

4. Am I struggling with what I feel is God’s expectations of me?

   I love the old song… ”getting to know you, getting to like you, hope you like me!”

Know ourselves, like ourselves!

Know others, getting to like others!

Know you are loved by God! “For God so loved the world..” (John 3:16)

AN INSIGHTFUL POET

Shakespeare's comedy “As You Like It”, about love and folly in the Forest of Arden…

All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and entrances

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages.

At first the infant, muling and  puking in the nurses arms..

Then the whining school-boy, with his satchel,

And shining morning face.

Creeping like a snail

Unwillingly to school.

And then the lover,

Sighing like a furnace, with woeful ballard

Made to his mistress’ eyebrow.

 Then a soldier

Full of strange oaths and bearded like a bard,

Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,

Seeking the bubble reputation

Even in the canon’s mouth.

And then the justice.

In fair round belly, with good capon lin’d,

With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,

Full of wise saws and modern instance;

And so he plays his part.

The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,

With spectacles on nose, and pouch on side;

His youthful hose, well sav’d a world too wide

For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,

Turn again towards childish treble, pipes

And whistles in his sound.

Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

In second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans

Everything.

BECOMING MORE POSITIVE

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends know that there is something to them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

(Christian D. Larson) 

LISTENING AS A SACRED ART

If one gives answer before hearing, it is folly and shame.(Proverbs 18:13) 

Over the years I have discovered that there is a basic context that nurtures and develops the practice of listening as a sacred art. Three qualities that are essential to this deep listening context are silence, reflection, and presence.
 
Silence creates the space for listening to God. It provides time to explore our relationship to Source. The practice of being in this silence nurtures our capacity to listen to others.
 
Reflection gives us access to listening for our inner voice. The practice of taking a few breaths before responding to a situation, question, or comment gives time for your true wisdom to reveal itself. It’s a slowing down, waiting, practicing patience.
 
Presence is the awareness of listening to another, of connecting at the heart level. The practice of taking a mundane, ordinary activity and giving it your full attention, for example, washing your hands or brushing your teeth, trains your concentration and your ability to be in the present moment with another…
 
Heart communication happens when we slow down, when we quiet down, look, and listen. Stop to take a breath. Become fully present with the person we’re with. Listen with all of our being. At this point, communication can occur without words. Being present is a gift that fills our hearts and spirits. We are in communion.
 
[Kay Lindahl, The Sacred Art of Listening: Forty Reflections for Cultivating a Spiritual Practice 2002]
 

TODAYS JOKES

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a Bell.

Well, just go home and if the feeling persists, give me a ring 

Dr. Dr. People tell me I’m a wheelbarrow.

Don’t let people push you around 

Dr. Dr. I’ve only got 59 seconds to live. .

Wait a minute, please 

Dr. Dr. I keep thinking I’m invisible.

Who said that?!

Dr. Dr. I feel like a pack of cards. 

I’ll deal with you later. 

Dr. Dr. I’m manic depressive. 

Calm down. Cheer up. Calm down. Cheer up. Calm. …..

Dr. Dr. I think I’m a bridge. 

What’s come over you? 

Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.

Dr, Dr, I think I’m a cat. 

How long has this been going on?

Oh, since I was a kitten.

Dr. Dr. I keep thinking I’m a dog.

Lie down on the couch and I’ll examine you.

I can’t, I’m not allowed on the furniture.

INCLUDE ME OUT

This quote, "Include me out," is a concise way of expressing one's intentional exclusion or desire to not participate in a certain activity or situation. It implies a choice to distance oneself from or avoid being involved in something. By using this phrase, the speaker asserts their decision to opt out and not be included, emphasizing their preference to stay away from or be excluded from a specific matter. (Samuel Goldwyn)

Rev Colin Morris was born in Bolton Lancashire in 1929. He was a minister of the Methodist Church and was sent to Zambia, then known as Northern Rhodesia, in 1956.

The event that inspired his writing of this book “INCLUDE ME OUT” (he wrote it in one weekend), was that a Zambia man had dropped dead not a hundred yards from his front door. In his stomach they found a few leaves and what appeared to be a ball of grass.

He says, “It is pointless turning up the figures of the Methodist relief Fund or Christian Aid. He died without knowing that Jesus cared for him, not in a sentimental, spiritual way, but by the offer of a square meal. It just so happened that none of Jesus’ men were around to give it to him, so he died and Jesus died with him.”  (page 51)

Colin Morris turns his anger onto the church, and himself as a minister of the church, largely because they had spent so much time debating trivia regarding unity, and hours of discussion of what was the acceptable way to dispose of the left-over elements from Communion, and did not spend sufficient time reaching out to the “little people” that Jesus loved and who needed the church desperately.

He said, “There are things happening in God’s world which are such an affront to His righteousness that we cannot always contain ourselves and so explode in frustration.” Pg8

‘INCLUDE ME OUT’  by Colin Morris 1975

My question is “What am I, what are we, what are the churches doing for those that are truly suffering in our world?”

FIND PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN YOU

Mark Twain said, ‘Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.’     

Why does the bible say, ’Carry each other’s burdens?’ Because one person can only carry a burden so far on their own.

American novelist John Kennedy Toole quickly discovered that. As a young writer he worked alone writing a novel in New Orleans. When it was finished, he sent it to publisher after publisher, but they all turned him down. Overcome by rejection, he took his own life. Sometime after the funeral, his mother found a coffee-stained manuscript in the attic and took it to a professor at Louisiana State University who agreed to read it. Immediately he recognised its genius and recommended it to a major publisher. After its release, John Kennedy Toole’s novel, A Confederacy of Dunces, won a Pulitzer Prize and was heralded as one of the major novels of the twentieth century.

If only he had surrounded himself with friends who knew how to share his burden, encourage him when he faced rejection, and motivate him to keep going, his life would have turned out differently.

So, the word for you today is  ‘Find people who believe in you’. Encourage and support them and welcome their support in return. Spend more time with those who sharpen you and make you better, and less time with those who drain your energy, time and talent. The truth is friends who speak encouragement into your life are priceless. Their words are ’Like apples of gold in settings of silver’  (Proverbs 25:11 NIV)

WRESTLING WITH GOD

In his memoir, Report to Greco, Nikos Kazantzakis shares this story: As a young man, he spent a summer in a monastery during which he had a series of conversations with an old monk. One day he asked the old monk: “Father, do you still do battle with the devil?” The old monk replied: “No, I used to, when I was younger, but now I have grown old and tired and the devil has grown old and tired with me. I leave him alone and he leaves me alone.” “So your life is easy then?” remarked Kazantzakis. “Oh no,” replied the monk, “it’s much worse, now I wrestle with God!”

There’s a lot contained in that remark – “I wrestle with God.” Among other things, it suggests that the struggles in later life can be very different than what we struggle with earlier on. In the normal pattern of things, we spend the first-half of our lives struggling with sensuality, greed, and sexuality, and spend the last half of our lives struggling with anger and forgiveness – and that anger is often, however unconsciously, focused on God. In the end, our real struggle is with God.

But wrestling with God has another aspect. It invites us to a certain kind of prayer. Prayer isn’t meant to be a simple acquiescence to God’s will. It’s meant to be an acquiescence, yes, but a mature acquiescence, come to at the end of a long struggle.

We see this in the prayer of the great figures in scripture: Abraham, Moses, Jesus, the apostles. Abraham argues with God and initially talks him out of destroying Sodom; Moses at first resists his call, protesting that his brother is better suited for the job; the apostles excuse themselves for a long time before finally putting their lives on the line; and Jesus gives himself over in the Garden of Gethsemane only after first begging his Father for a reprieve. As Rabbi Heschel puts it, from Abraham through Jesus we see how the great figures of our faith are not in the habit of easily saying: “Thy will be done!” but often, for a while at least, counter God’s invitation with: “Thy will be changed!”

Struggling with God’s will and offering resistance to what it calls us to can be a bad thing, but it can also be a mature form of prayer. The Book of Genesis describes an incident where Jacob wrestled with a spirit for a whole night and in the morning that spirit turned out to be God. What a perfect icon for prayer! A human being and God, wrestling in the dust of this earth! Doesn’t that accurately describe the human struggle?

We would do well to integrate this, the concept of wrestling with God, into our understanding of faith and prayer. We honor neither ourselves nor the scriptures when we make things too simple. Human will doesn’t bend easily, nor should it, and the heart has complexities that need to be respected, even as we try to rein in its more possessive longings. God, who built us, understands this and is up to the task of wrestling with us and our resistance.

The classical mystics speak of something they call “being bold with God”. This “boldness”, they suggest, comes not at the beginning of the spiritual journey, but more towards the end of it, when, after a long period of fidelity, we are intimate enough with God to precisely be “bold”, as friends who have known each other for a long time have a right to be. That’s a valuable insight: After you have been friends with someone for a long time, you can be comfortable with expressing your needs to him or her and in the context of a long, sustained relationship unquestioning reverence is not necessarily a sign of mature intimacy. Old friends, precisely because they know and trust each other, can risk a boldness in their friendship that younger, less mature, friendship cannot.

That is also true in our relationship with God. God expects that, at some point, we will kick against his will and offer some resistance. But we should lay out our hearts in honesty. Jesus did.

God expects some resistance. As Nikos Kazantzakis puts it:

The struggle between God and humans breaks out in everyone, together with the longing for reconciliation. Most often this struggle is unconscious and short-lived. A weak soul does not have the endurance to resist the flesh for very long. It grows heavy, becomes flesh itself, and the contest ends. But among responsible persons who keep their eyes riveted day and night upon the supreme duty, the conflict between flesh and spirit breaks out mercilessly and may last until death. The stronger the soul and the flesh, the more fruitful the struggle and the richer the final harmony. The spirit wants to have to wrestle with flesh which is strong and full of resistance. It is a carnivorous bird which is incessantly hungry; it eats flesh and, by assimilating it, makes it disappear.

ASSESSMENT OF COUPLE RELATIONSHIP

Every marriage relationship has a combination of strengths and growth points, and the key is to be able to identify them, and constructively work with them.  We need to celebrate the strengths and develop the growth points.

Please fill in the questionnaire individually without discussion at this point.

Identify which you feel are strengths and which are growth areas, in your relationship. When you have identified these, select three strengths and three growth points, that are most important to you  (be aware that your partner may have different ones)

---

a. Communication
Able to speak about issues and feelings. - Strength / Growth Point

b. Conflict resolution
Able to talk about problems and find solutions. - Strength / Growth Point

c. Financial matters.
Able to agree on budget and financial matters. - Strength / Growth Point

d. Personality and behaviour patterns
Able to accept differences and appreciate them. - Strength / Growth Point

e. Affection and sexuality
Able to be affectionate and able to discuss sexual issues. - Strengths/ Growth Point

f. Leisure activities
Able to have a good balance of activities together and apart. - Strength / Growth Point

g. Family and Friends
We are happy with our interaction with friends and family. - Strength / Growth Point

h. Decision making and responsibility roles
We are able to discuss issues and share responsibilities. - Strength / Growth Point

i. Spiritual beliefs
We are able to respect each other’s beliefs. - Strength / Growth Point 

j. Children and parenting
We agree on issues relating to having and raising children. - Strength / Growth Point

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1. After both have completed the questionnaire, set a time where both agree is conducive and comfortable to explore each other’s responses. (avoid times that are stressed)

2. Take turns in sharing what each perceived as your relationship strengths. Take turns in sharing one strength at a time until you each have explored three. Delight in these strengths.

3. In the same way share and discuss the growth areas. Avoid blaming, accusing or any negative approach. Try to understand the thoughts and feelings of each other.

4. Finally have a discussion around these questions:

   1. Did any of your partner’s responses surprise you?

   2. Which areas did mostly agree with each other?

   3. Which areas did you struggle to understand or agree with each other?

   4. Which area do both agree needs immediate attention?

   5. Set a date for progress assessment Note: at all times be gentle with each other as it takes courage to express deep feelings.

5. After both have completed the questionnaire, set a time where both agree is conducive and comfortable to explore each other’s responses. (avoid times that are stressed) 

6. Take turns in sharing what each perceived as your relationship strengths. Take turns in sharing one strength at a time until you each have explored three. Delight in these strengths.

7. In the same way share and discuss the growth areas. Avoid blaming, accusing or any negative approach. Try to understand the thoughts and feelings of each other.

8. Finally have a discussion around these questions:

   1. Did any of your partner’s responses surprise you?

   2. Which areas did mostly agree with each other?

   3. Which areas did you struggle to understand or agree with each other?

   4. Which area do both agree needs immediate attention?

   5. Set a date for progress assessment

      Note: at all times be gentle with each other as it takes courage to express deep feelings.

CONTENTMENT IN A CRAZY WORLD

Are we truly content? Advertisements constantly capitalise on our discontent, promising transformation with one more purchase. Yet disappointment follows when the results fall short. Despite material possessions and opportunities, can we say people today are genuinely content?

The World as It Is

C.S. Lewis once described the world as “half prison, half 4-star hotel.” Those expecting a hotel grow bitter; those who see it as a prison are surprised at its comforts. Much depends on expectation. Some Christians believe faith should shield them from suffering, yet the symbol of our faith is a cross. If Christ himself endured pain and rejection, why should we expect a trouble-free life? As Willy Loman put it, “some things come with the territory.” Contentment requires recognising that life is a mixture of good and evil, and by God’s grace, even hardship can be redeemed into good.

Living One Day at a Time

Jesus taught, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself” (Matthew 6:34). Strength is given one day at a time. Like manna in the wilderness, we do not receive tomorrow’s supply today. William Ward advised: release yesterday with its failures, trust tomorrow with its promises, and embrace today with its blessings. Robert Louis Stevenson wrote that every person can endure until nightfall. The call is simple: live one day at a time.

What Is Within Matters Most

We cannot control our height, voice, or temperament, but we can choose the qualities that shape our inner environment. A young girl with polio once said, “Yes, this will colour my life—but I am going to choose the colour.” She chose hope, faith, and love instead of despair.

A novelist who was blind and going deaf replied, “If the world be closed without, I will sail the hidden seas within.” Her inner life was rich and expansive. The question remains: what seas do we have within? Some discovered this during isolation in the pandemic. For some, it was a season of reflection and creativity. For others, it was boredom and restlessness. As Paul wrote from prison, real peace is determined by what we allow into our hearts: “The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

The Gift of Contentment

Contentment is not smug complacency but “having one’s desires limited to what one has, satisfied.” Like a thermostat, it is not shaped by external conditions but regulates and controls the temperature. Paul said he had learned the secret of being content in every circumstance: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). Rooted in Christ, Paul could face both abundance and need.

True peace is not found in the absence of trouble but in calmness of heart amid it. As Catherine Marshall illustrated in the story of the king who offered a prize to the artist who could paint the best picture of peace. It was not the calm lake that won, but the bird nesting peacefully behind a raging waterfall. That is real peace—the kind Paul knew, the kind rooted in God.

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” 

TODAYS JOKES

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The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialled the employees home telephone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper, "Hello?"
The boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked.
To the boss’ surprise, the small voice whispered, "No."
The boss persisted, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes," came the answer.
"May I talk with her?"
Again, the small voice whispered, "No."
“Well, is there someone else there?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
"Well then, may I speak with the policeman?"
"No,” whispered the child “he is busy"
"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Now the boss was growing concerned and just then he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper," answered the whispering voice.
Alarmed, the boss nearly shouted: "What is going on there?"
In an awed whispering voice, the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper!"
"Why are they there?"
There was a muffled giggle as the child said, "They are looking for me!"

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Last night I dreamt I had an identical twin. This morning when I woke up I was beside myself.

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My wife asked me to put tomato paste on the shopping list. Now I cant read anything.

TODAYS JOKES

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What the future will be like.

 “Hello, is this Gordon’s pizza?” 

“No sir, it’s Google’s pizza” 

“Did I dial the wrong number?” 

“No sir, Google bought the pizza store”

“Oh, alright then. I’d like to place an order please”

“Okay sir, do you want the usual?” 

“The usual? You know what my usual is?” 

“According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12 slice with double cheese, sausage, and thick crust”

“Okay, that’s what I want this time too”

“Mass suggested that this time you order an 8 slice with ricotta, lettuce and tomato instead?” 

“No, I hate vegetables”

“But your cholesterol is not good”

“How do you know?”

“Through the subscriber’s guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last seven years”

“You know what, I’m sick of Google, Facebook Twitter And everyone else having all my information! I am going to an island without Internet, where there’s no mobile line and no one to spy on me!’

“I understand sir, but you may want to renew your passport… It expired five weeks ago”

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A guy goes to his doctor because he can see into the future.

The doctor asks him, "How long have you suffered from that condition?"

The Guy tells him, "Since next Monday."

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TODAYS JOKES

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• I asked my dad what he wanted for Father’s Day.
  He said, “For you to finally learn how to mow the lawn properly.”

• “Fatherhood: where sleep is optional, patience is tested, and dad jokes are compulsory.”

• “Behind every great kid is a dad who’s pretty sure he’s messing it all up.”

• “Happy Father’s Day to the man who taught me how to drive, but not how to parallel park.”

• Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar?
  Because he heard the drinks were on the house.

• Why did the scarecrow win Father of the Year?
  Because he was outstanding in his field.